Not a Fan

So this post is going to be pretty different than my regular ones, so please bear with me and please continue reading.   This is a post I have been putting off for awhile.  I actually started writing it in May and kept feeling convicted to finish it and put it out there.  Andrew and I also discussed it quite a bit and he wanted to help me write it.  I thought what he had to say was great.  So instead of just mixing it in with mine, I am just adding it to my post-two posts in one J.

I am a Christian.  I am not afraid to admit it and that is not a big deal.  But I have been challenged lately to be bold.  We get so excited about other things and love to talk to other people about them.  But as far as Christianity is concerned, I usually just keep conversations about it on the surface so as not to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable.  Well, maybe we as Christians need to challenge each other and others a little more and feel uncomfortable more often.  So onto my point of this post… Before our small group took a break for summer this past year we read and discussed a book called Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman.  It was a great book to read but also hard because it challenges us as Christians.  The main question of the book is –are you just a fan of Jesus or a true follower?  Many of us are familiar with (and many times cling to) the verse John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whosoever believes in him  shall not perish but have eternal life.”  Okay, so we just have to believe in God and we are all good, heaven-bound.  But the book also stresses that there is another verse that we often forget about…”If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23).  So it is more than just believing in God (“You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder.” James 2:19) but you have to make the decision to follow him. You have to make that decision to make him your Savior (he died on the cross to save us) and your Lord (we are his servants). 

I think one of the parts of the book that hit me (and most of our group) the hardest was a section that talked about having a “false assurance of salvation”.  Look at this passage from Matthew 7, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²² Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ ²³ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’  We have always been told that once we accept Christ, we are assured our salvation and that is very true.  But when we made that decision, did we really mean it or were we just caught up in the moment; or did we do it because we knew it was the right thing to do; or did we do it because we wanted to make sure we did have eternal life when we died?  If we were really making that decision to follow Christ we must do as Jesus said in Luke, “deny himself and take up his cross daily”.   Therefore, our decision would be reflected in our everyday life and how we chose to live it.  And not just doing things for show, but doing them because we know that is what God wants from us and we want to please him and help further his kingdom.  I fail at this constantly, but I don’t want to give up.  I long for that relationship with him and I long for others to have it too.  When I die and go to heaven, I don’t want to hear, “I never knew you.  Away from me.”  I want to hear, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”

The beginning of the book talked about Defining The Relationship.  It gave the example of what if you were sitting in a coffee shop, and Jesus walked in, sat down at your table and asked you to define your relationship with Him.  He is all-knowing, so there is no hiding anything from him, no excuses.  I know my relationship with him gets put on the back burner a lot.  Many who know me, know about my to-do lists.  I have a master to-do list on my computer and then I write down a daily to-do list every night for the next day.  I feel accomplished when I get everything marked off my list, but the one thing that can be left on there many days is taking the time to spend time with God through reading/studying my bible and devoted prayer.   Through all of our discussions that we have had with our small group over the last few years, it has been evident that those are the things that provide us with the foundation in our relationship with God.  They will help provide us with the answers to our questions, help us through crisis, guide us in where God wants us to go, what he wants us to do.  They are the things that will help us build that personal, intimate relationship with God that he desires.  And I come up with many excuses and my main one now is my family.  Even though I want to do what is right, I sometimes think that I will be better at it once all the kids are in school and I have a little more time.  But God doesn’t want our excuses.  He wants us and he wants us now.

I encourage everyone to read the book-we have some copies if you want to borrow it.  And even if you decide you don’t want to read the book, I encourage you to do a review of where you stand on your relationship with God.  Maybe you want it to be better but you don’t know where to start or you don’t want to put forth the effort-start in prayer and study of His word.  Start by getting involved in a church and the things they are doing.  Maybe your relationship is just kind of there because it always has been-now is the time to commit to developing a more personal, intimate relationship that is your own.  Maybe the relationship is nonexistent, you’ve never pursued it-please do.  Please find a church or talk to someone (even though I feel inadequate, I would be more than happy to talk with anyone).

Well I’m not sure if anyone will actually read this whole thing, but I pray that it challenges you and you want to do something about.  I pray that you long to be a follower of God and that even though it can be a rough road at times, that you get to experience his unfailing love, his comfort, his power, and his peace.

Andrew’s Post

We have a small group of about 16 adults and way too many kids. They come and ravage our house, make messes and the kids run wild. Anything that can be spilled or rubbed into the carpet beyond the capabilities of household cleaning supplies has been. We have been opening our house for 2 years, during which we've had twins, tried to raise 3 others, enrolled the kids into, and gone to, every pee-wee league there is, built an office, worked like dogs etc... Wednesday comes on in a flash, meals are hurried, we try to get the kids back from wherever they are in time, and try to come up with a lesson plan to make the small group fruitful. We rush around to clean up the carnage and throw the kids in bed, hopefully with a prayer. Essentially we wonder why life is passing us by. Time is short, it is easier to do nothing or simply do what seems fun, or try to substitute relationships here for our relationship with Jesus. Ali and I just want to take a good long trip, or a hunting trip (Ali really wants to hunt bighorn sheep in the Rockies - go figure), but there isn't time, and we probably should save the money to pay taxes. Booooo! There is little time to just relax, let alone read a book. But I did. First one in years probably. It is called "Not a Fan" and it was the lesson plan for our small group.

Essentially the book lets you define your relationship with God. Of course, my original thought was "this is a good idea, I will become a better Christian", followed by "I think I'm comfortable where I'm at, this is a little more work and soul searching than I want right now - what are we having for dinner?" But we had already committed to going through the book, so we dug in. "not a fan" focuses on the "fan v. follower" conundrum. Are we fair weather Christians who call on God when we need him; does our daily prayer life consist only of a prayer before good meals (I am thankful for steak, not so much for the 2 cheeseburger value meal from McD's); do we read the Bible at church, and only when we think the preacher is cutting into the lunch hour; when was the last time you read a book of the Bible that God gave to you (don't answer that one, its kind of depressing); are we a part of the crowd that has a fish on the car, but never tell anyone why, or is the fish there only because you bought the car used and can't get it off. On the flip side, Jesus wants us to be serious followers of him, and says so. The book unfortunately pointed out how poor of a job I do at following Jesus. Yes, if you know me, you all ready knew that, but the book made me focus on it and refocus on what I am supposed to be living for. Its a daily struggle, except on days when I take a break ;). I think it was Paul who wrote the most confusing, and most accurate verse in the Bible that describes the problems I, and likely you, face every day. Paraphrasing, it says that I know what to do, and don't do it, and that which I know I shouldn't do, I do. It is easy for me to write it off as human nature. I rationalize by comparing myself to those who are worse than I am so that I can think "hey, at least I'm not doing what that guy does." Unfortunately, I think it’s all or nothing with Jesus, and I don't think he grades on a curve. I've also noticed that I've never used Billy Graham as my benchmark. It is easier to specifically compare myself to someone else like me who can be apathetic about his daily relationship with Jesus, or a fallen TV evangelist if I really need to rationalize my behavior.

We can all put on a front, and have become very good at it. In one of the lesson plans for small group I made a note "make Ali cry". In perusing my notes, Allison asked just what I was going to say in small group to accomplish that feat (although, it was right after she had the twins, so there was a considerable amount of still unexplained crying going on in our house). I assured her she wouldn't need the kleenex box, but that I was making a point of the difference between the front we show everyone else, and what we are really like. I can remember saying something that I shouldn't have right before church - fortunately I don't remember what that was, but she started crying. But then as I try to apologize, and she gets ready, we get in the car, roll the windows down a little to let the air dry the tears, and smile at everyone as we walk in the doors. Great morning. However, we also attempt to do that with God. We put the church bumper sticker on, go to church unless the day is really nice, or turkey season is about over, or we need to catch up on some lawn work... But he wants more for us. Jesus said that many will stand at the gates thinking they will get in only to hear Jesus say "go away." While that is scary, it likely means many of us.  He is telling us what he expects. He wants the personal relationship all the time, not the last call when the bills are stacking up, or when someone is dying, or when the stress has gotten to be unbearable and you have the "oh bleep" moment. I'm not moving to Sri Lanka anytime soon that I know of, or selling my truck to give money to the poor yet, but he wants us to be just such a follower that is willing to do what he wants us to do:  what he would do.

That is kind of what the book brings to light, although we'd get that out of the Bible admittedly if we read it more. He wants us to move from living the Burger King "have it your way" life, to evaluating your life, your relationship with him, or lack of, and focusing on his goals. Its a good read, intense at times, depressing, and motivating. I'm not a biblical scholar, but it didn't seem to be contradictory to anything I've read or heard. It simply focuses on the personal relationship with Jesus. Anyway, we wanted to put something about it on Ali's blog so if you are interested you can get the book. They're about $5 I think, and well worth it.